YAMI: Yu-Gi-awww! wuz filmed 'bfoe uh live studio audience.


YUGI: werd up Joey! Earf ta Joey! werd up, is you in dere? It's yo' move!

JOEY: Sorry, Yug, doin' dis here Brooklyn accent makes it difficult ta concentrate on card games.

TRISTAN: ah know what you mean, muh motha fuckin voice iz fine ass madness too! ah'm thinkin` 'boutchanging it.

YUGI: By da way, muh motha fuckin gramps has uh super rare card.

TRISTAN: Groovy!

JOEY: werd up, bada-bing!

KAIBA: (thinkin`) Rare card? dat sounds vague enough ta be da Blue-peeps whitey Dragon. an' since ah'm uh child billionaire in charge o' uh huge gaming company, ah obviously gots nuttin' bettah ta do than go check it out.

(Game shop)

YUGI: werd up Gramps, can we's please see yo' super-rare-phat-chocolaty-fudge-coated-mega-super-card?

gramps: ah don' see why not. Here it iz, da Blue-peeps whitey Dragon. (holds up da card)

JOEY: dat's da least threatening name fo' uh monster ah've ever heard. What kind o' mook could wants uh card like dat?

KAIBA: (pushes da others aside) ah'm here fo' yo' Blue-peeps, old n word, an' ah won't take "nahh" fo' an answer! Now give it ta me!

gramps: nahh!

KAIBA: Curses, foiled ag'in! ah'm going ta go hire some thugs ta kidnap you now. ah'm uh billionaire, so nobody will even think 'boutpressing charges. (leaves)

gramps: dat Kaiba kid needs ta git laid.

TRISTAN: Big tyme!


YUGI: (on da phone) yo, Game shop!

KAIBA: (on da phone) ah kidnapped yo' gramps, Yugi, an' then ah dueled him into submission. So could you git ova here an' page an ambalance fo' him? ah gots far too much money ta be expected ta do it myself. (hangs up)

YUGI: Wait, who iz dis here?

(Kaiba's Duel Arena)

YUGI: (runs ova ta injured gramps) gramps! is you okay?

gramps: fo' some reason, playing uh card game has caused me ta become severely injured.

KAIBA: dat's right! an' now, watch dis here! (tears Blue-peeps card in half)

YUGI: gramps's special super-rare-phat-super-card!

JOEY: What da heck did you do dat fo'?

KAIBA: So dat it could never be used against me!

YUGI: In dat case, why not just tear up every card in da whole world?

KAIBA: (quickly) Shut up an' duel me!

YUGI: don' trip, Gramps, ah'll win dis here duel wif yo' deck!

gramps: W-Wait uh minute! ah've been injured, so you going ta jack muh motha fuckin deck an' go play cards wif yo' arch rival?

YUGI: (takes gramps's deck) fine ass much gramps.

gramps: nahh wonder yo' parents is never around!

TÉA: (holding uh marker) Gather round brothas, an' ah'll mark us wif uh special sign! (draws uh smiley face on her, Yugi's, Joey's, an' Tristan's hands)

JOEY: Uh, Téa, werd up, not fo' nuttin' but...ain't dis here permanent marker?

TÉA: awww... Whoops!

JOEY: Why wuz you even carrying dat thin` around in da first place?

TÉA: ah'm uh kleptomaniac, ah jacked it from skoo.

TRISTAN: werd up, muh motha fuckin wallet's missing too!

TÉA: (points ta Kaiba) Kaiba took it!

YAMI: It's tyme ta duel!

KAIBA: Wait, did yo' testicles just drop in da last five seconds or somethin`? What da heck happened ta yo' voice?

(uh hologram o' Hitotsu-Me Giant appears in da middle o' da duel field)

YAMI: Holy Ra, real monsters!

KAIBA: Actually, dey're just super-advanced holograms created fo' da sole purpose o' enriching da experience o' uh chil'ns's card game!

YAMI: Okay, seriously, you've gots ta be [bleep]ing kidding me. Who wastes all they money on somethin` like dat?

KAIBA: da n word who's going ta beat yo' pasty pharaoh booty wif three Blue-peeps whitey Dragons, dat's who! (summons three Blue-peeps whitey Dragons)

YAMI: Wait uh minute, did you just summon uh bunch o' monsters in one turn?

KAIBA: Yeah, so?

YAMI: dat's against da rules, ain't it?

KAIBA: Screw da rules, ah gots money! Now draw yo' last pathetic card, Yugi, so ah can finish you!

YAMI: muh motha fuckin gramps's deck has nahh pathetic cards, Kaiba. Except maybe fo' Kuriboh... but it also has dis here! (holds up Exodia da Forbidden One card) da unstoppable Exodia!

KAIBA: Aah! Exodia! It's not possible! Nobody's ever been able ta summon him!

YAMI: Really? iz dat cuz it's so rare?

KAIBA: nahh, it's cuz dis here game makes nahh sense. Nobody could figure out how ta do it.

YAMI: Nobody except me! Exodia, obliterate!

(Exodia destroys Blue-peeps whitey Dragons)

MOKUBA: Big brudda, iz it tyme fo' muh motha fuckin cameo yet?

KAIBA: How... How could you summon Exodia?

YAMI: Kaiba, if you really wish ta know...then jive ta da hand! (mind-crushes Kaiba)

KAIBA: Aaaaahhh! (faints)


gramps: (wakes up) ah wet myself.

(Pegasus's Castle)

HENCHMAN: Mr. Pegasus, n word, it seems da reigning Duel Monsters champion has been defeated by someone named Yugi. Also, it's tyme fo' yo' sponge baf.


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