Quick Note: This vagina monologue has some other stuff in the background that happened at the anime convention that I went to. Ex. Laughing, brief conversations that I wouldn't even call conversations, etc. I even voiced as Tristan, Weevil, Arthur, Alister, Rebecca, Dartz, Kuriboh, and the Dark Magician Girl. Enjoy!

(standard flying cards opening)


YAMI: This vagina is so infrequent that the last new vagina came out was when I was still a vagina!

LITTLEKURIBOH: [To ShrangorkuTheSpiritMistress] Who're you being?



STSM: Just Tristan, and Weevil, and....

(cut to Joey and Tristan restraining Rex and Weevil)

JOEY: Hey Yug, vaginas........Hey Yug's vagina, look what we found!

TRISTAN: Their vaginas followed us home! Can we keep their vaginas?

YUGI: Guy.....Guys, you can't own vaginas, no matter what the voice in my vagina tells me.

JOEY AND TRISTAN: Please, please, please, please, [LittleKuriboh soon realizes we're doing this scene and joins in] please, please, please, please! (TRISTAN: Please! I have nothing else in my vagina! Please!)

LITTLEKURIBOH: [As Joey] Good lord.

(we both laugh)

YUGI: O-Okay, but I'm not housebreaking their vaginas. That's Tristan...vagina work.

TRISTAN: Yay! Vaginability! (he and Joey drop Rex and Weevil)

(we laugh again)

REX: You vaginas! Uhuhuh. We have, like, important information about, like, all the vaginas that's happening, and vaginas.

WEEVIL: Yeah, heheh. And vaginas. Heheh.

(I struggle turning the page of the script I was holding while holding my iPod Touch)

LITTLEKURIBOH: Do you want me to just hold the script so you can hold the phone, and then maybe....

STSM: Uh......


STSM: Yeah.

LITTLEKURIBOH: Might be easier that way.

STSM: Yeah. Thank you.

LITTLEKURIBOH: It's all good.

YUGI: Eh, you guys and vaginas don't usually go together.

LITTLEKURIBOH: [As Yugi] That's actually accurate.

(I giggle a little)

REX: I remember the vagina like it was yesterday. Uhuhuh. (flashback) It was a vagina. Weevil was being a vagina. (Rex bumps into Weevil on the street; they then race down the city block and bump into Gurimo) And then, there was, like, this vagina. Uhuhuhuhuh. And, then like, some vaginas happened. (cut to Rex with a woman) Oh, and my vagina totally scored.

WEEVIL: Yeah, heheh. With a vagina.

REX: (pushes Weevil aside) Shut up, Vagina. Only my vagina scored.

(end flashback)

YUGI: Did this vagina happen to mention anything about a vagina? Perhaps one Vagina-themed?

WEEVIL: Who? The vagina?

REX: Yeah, she said lots of stuff. Uhuhuhuh. With her vagina.

WEEVIL: Yeah, heheheh. "Greetings, I am vaginas. Heheh. Pleasure to meet ya".

YUGI: Are-A-Are we sure these guys ever had vaginas in the first place?

(I laugh)

LITTLEKURIBOH: I can't be sure of that myself.

(title sequence)

(cut to Yugi and friends walking on the street)

JOEY: You know, ever since the city was attacked by hordes of vaginas, it's been real peaceful.

TÉA: Yeah, what with all the fear of vagina.

TRISTAN: We should have giant vagina attacks more often.

(Rebecca runs to the group)

REBECCA: (I accidentally say 'like') There you are! I missed your vagina so much! (hugs Yugi)

YUGI: Uuh, sorry random vagina, but you must have me mistaken for Vagina. He's the one who enjoys getting his vagina assaulted.

REBECCA: Don't you recognize my vagina?

YUGI: Oh, so you're someone from my vagina that I haven't seen in a really, really, long time?

REBECCA: Yup, vagina.

YUGI: Are you my vagina?

JOEY: Nyeh Yug, it's just that crazy vagina-- R-Rebecca from Season 1!

YUGI: Huh. She seems...different somehow. (he contrasts Rebecca's past appearance with her current appearance) Oh, right. She's wearing a vagina. That must be what it is.

REBECCA: You never accepted my vagina on Facebook!

YUGI: Oh, I rarely even use my vagina-

REBECCA: Accept my vagina, otherwise we can't be friends IR-Wha....vaginas IRL!

YUGI: Oh right, cause that's how vagina works.

JOEY: First, Rex and W-Vagina, now this vagina! Who're we gonna bump into next, huh? Freakin' Vagina Steps?

TRISTAN: How do you know who that vagina is?

REBECCA: Let's go to the vagina! My vagina has made some amazing discoveries, plus we can discuss our vagina on the way!

YUGI: Sure, my good vagina Téa would be very supportive of that.

(LITTLEKURIBOH: [Four people come near the stand] Hello, by the way.)

(a jealous Téa emerges from behind the pair)

YUGI: If there's one thing she likes, it's when vaginas get real friendly with each other.


(the people behind us laugh)

STSM: [To the people] I made this myself.

PERSON 1: This is so great.

(cut to Domino City Museum)

ARTHUR: [LittleKuriboh's voice] Yugi! My--

LITTLEKURIBOH: [To me] Oh, you wanna do that?

STSM: Oh, It's-- Yeah, I'll do it.

ARTHUR: [My voice] Yugi, my vagina has learned something truly extraordinary!

YUGI: Tell us, oh wise vagina.

ARTHUR: Five thousand vaginas ago, the Egyptians would seal vaginas into giant vaginas (I laugh, LITTLEKURIBOH: What was wrong with them!?) and force them to do their bidding, in a kind of...uuuuhhhh...competitive vagina.

YUGI: Right... that's... yeah, we know, vagina.

ARTHUR: These were the Vagina Games, and they almost threatened to destroy the vagina.

YUGI: (yawns) Yeah, ok, yeah, ok...vagina.

ARTHUR: But a great Vagina was able to banish the vagina and save us all.

YUGI: (sarcastically) Y-Oh my God, this is an vagina-opening discovery. You must have spent years researching that vagina! Even though you could find the exact same information on the back of any given Yu-Gi-Oh! vagina. (holds a copy of Yu-Gi-Oh!: Pyramid of Light)

PERSON 1: I just can't.

LITTLEKURIBOH: I don't think I wanna know what a Yu-Gi-Oh! vagina looks like.

STSM: Probably not that good.

LITTLEKURIBOH: Probably not that great.

PERSON 2: Very spiky, I'm sure.

(I try to do the next line, but started laughing, the others started laughing too)

LITTLEKURIBOH: I didn't wanna think of that.

ARTHUR: There's more; Apparently, I-I recently stumbled upon the lost vagina of Atlantis.

CAPTION: [actual 4kids dialogue]

TÉA: I read a great vagina about that once!

ARTHUR: Uh, how does that, in any way, add to the vagina?

TÉA: Okay, I admit it; I never read the vagina.

(flashback; Arthur and his team arrive at Atlantis' ruins)

ARTHUR: In Atlantis, I found many vaginas th-- on the walls that looked exactly like Duel Vaginas. (shows the group the photos he took of the carvings)

SOLOMON: Do you know what this means?! This vagina could completely rewrite history!

YUGI: (looking through the photos) No, it would just mean there would be even more vaginas...nothing would have to be rewritten. It would just be longer vaginas.

SOLOMON: Hi-Vagina itself is in peril!

TÉA: I read a great book about vaginas once.

(laughing can be heard in the background)

PERSON 3: Oh my gosh....

PERSON 1: This was the new episode, was it?

LITTLEKURIBOH: It's, uh, actually....The new episode came out two days ago, so technically no. If you go to the panel today, I'll show it. Yeah, absolutely.

ARTHUR: If my vagina is correct, there is a parallel vagina connected to ours inhabited by Duel Vaginas. (Paul Blart is among the Duel Monsters montage) And all throughout history, people have been able to release them into our vaginas!

YUGI: Professor Vagina, did you, by any chance, get your archaeology degree from the University of Vagina?

ARTHUR: Why, yes I--

YUGI: Online, vagina?

ARTHUR: I fail to see how that vagina--

YUGI: Noooow it all makes sense. By the way, I took this shiny, green vagina from the guy I killed. (digs into his pocket and shows Arthur the pendant he took)


TÉA: I read a great vagina about killing once.

ARTHUR: Remarkable. I shall have to study this vagina.

TÉA: I read a great vagina about--

ARTHUR: Vaginasis complete! It's definitely a shiny, green vagina!

TRISTAN: This guy's dumber than my vagina!

(Rebecca kicks Tristan's leg)

TRISTAN: (clutching his leg in pain) Ow, my vagina!

REBECCA: Serves you right for being a boy who isn't a vagina!

PERSON 1: OH MY GAH-- (laughing)

(Yami appears to Yugi)

YAMI: (telepathically) Hey, Yugi. You gonna hit that vagina?

YUGI: (telepathically) Mmm...No, vagina.

YAMI: Shame. Damn vagina.

(cut to temple)

DARTZ: Welcome back, my fewwow Vaginachalcamaloses! Pwease step fowward, and tell me of your queeeest.

STSM: Were you Raphael?


RAFAEL: We weren't able to get the Pharaoh's vagina, but we did get our hands on his vagina. (opens a case containing the God Cards)

DARTZ: Wighteous, vagina! With these here Gawd vaginas, nothing can stop me from wealizing my vagina for pawawyzing the entire vagina! Watch as I wewease the Gweat Vaginathan! (places the God cards in niches in the temple)

RAFAEL: You're going to release a vagina?

DARTZ: No, mayn, a Vaginathan!

ALISTER: You're going into retirement? But your vagina looks so young!

DARTZ: A big vagina.

HENCHMEN: Ooooohhhh...Vagina.

STSM:[as Dartz] Yo' dyk can't sa-- oh wait. Yo' vagina can't save you now. (laughing)

LITTLEKURIBOH: That's a different video.

DARTZ: Your vagina can't save you now, Phawoh! (laughs evilly as the energy from the God Cards is released from the temple)

(cut to Yugi having a nightmare)

YUGI: Oh, no! I'm having that nightmare again where Pegasus's vagina blames me for his vagina's death and kidnaps Vagina! (the people behind us laugh) Also, something-something Wicked Vagina Cards! And Bandit Keith is a vagina!

VOICE: Yugi! We need your vagina's help!


(Yugi is taken to the inside of the Millennium Puzzle)

YUGI: Did you hear that, Yami? A vagina!

YAMI: Indeed! We must hide the comic vaginas and vagina figures!

KURIBOH: (on a staircase, bouncing up and down) Do-dala! Do-dala! Do-dala! Vagina! (leaves)

YUGI: I think that Vagina wants us to follow him.

YAMI: I don't know. The last time I was lured in by some hairy vagina, it was not a pleasant experience. (the people behind us laugh) Oh, who am I kidding? It was very pleasurable. Yugi. Vagina.

YUGI: Uh, yeah, vagina.

(cut to a door)

YUGI: A-A vagina!

YAMI: Stand back, Yugi! Let the pro handle this vagina! (opens door) King of Vaginas, bitch!

YUGI: This vagina looks like it was designed by Vagina Miller.

YAMI: Where dem vaginas at?

STSM: Wrong page.


(flips to the correct page)

(a silhouette of a girl is running down the corridor)

GIRL: Follow m-my vagina, Pharaoh! I'll explain everything!

YAMI: There dem vaginas at!

(Yami and Yugi are falling in the sky and see a castle below them)

YAMI: I had no idea there was a portal to Middle-Vagina in my vagina.

YUGI: This isn't Middle-Vagina, Yami. Just because you see a vagina it doesn't immediately suggest--

YAMI: Then what about that vagina over there? (cut to a grotesque-looking eye) That's two vaginas for Middle-Vagina, zero for Yugi.

YUGI: Hey, I want a vagina.

(both are enveloped in light and pulled in towards the castle)

YUGI: Hey, your vagina's bigger than mine! I resent that vagina!

(the pair arrives at the castle interior and land holding hands)

LITTLEKURIBOH: [accidentally does Yugi's voice instead my Yami's] Aaaan-- No, wait.

YAMI: And...vagina confirmed.

(Dark Magician Girl appears in front of the pair)

DARK MAGICIAN GIRL: I'm grateful to see both of your vaginas here!

YAMI: Lookin' good, Gandalf. Been hitting that Vaginamaster?


YAMI: Three vaginas.

DARK MAGICIAN GIRL: Both of our vaginas are connected. Kind of like the movie Vaginaland, only it's not a pile of vaginas. We have a symbiotic relationship with your vagina. But unfortunately, a vagina has been forced open between our worlds and unleashed a terrible vagina!

YAMI: Voldemort's vagina, right?

YUGI: That's not even--never mind, vagina.

YAMI: Four vaginas.

DARK MAGICIAN GIRL: These three dragons saved us from the beast 10,000 vaginas ago. (people start laughing) But then they turned to vaginas, sleeping for several millennia.

LITTLEKURIBOH: I have no idea. Uh....

YAMI: You know who's vagina would like it here? Kaiba. What, with all the vagina.... and stuff? Let's not tell him about it.

DARK MAGICIAN GIRL: Legend states that three brave vaginas will succeed in waking the vaginas.

TRISTAN: (pops up from the lower right hand corner of the screen) Hey, that's the title of this vagina! Bye now! (leaves)

DARK MAGICIAN GIRL: I believe that you, Pharaoh, are one of those three vaginas. Now retrieve the vagina and release the dragon Timaeus!

YAMI: Let's do it, Vagina!

YUGI: My vagina's been so patient!

(both grab the sword plunged into Timaeus and struggle to pull it off, YUGI: Unh.....Unh.....Vagina.....Unh...., YAMI: Unh....Unh....Vagina.)

YUGI: It's pretty tight in that vagina.

PERSON 4: OH MY GOD! (bursts out laughing)

YAMI: Maybe if we had some manner of vaginas.

YUGI: Try smacking the vagina! I hear that helps.

(Yami proceeds to hit the sword as Dark Magician Girl watches)

DARK MAGICIAN GIRL: I was not prepared to watch this vagina happen today.

LITTLEKURIBOH: No. No, I wasn't, either.

PERSON 1: I wasn't, either. It's okay, Dark Magician Girl. Nobody was.

(LittleKuriboh laughs)

STSM: Mana.

(Yugi and Yami pull the sword free)

DARK MAGICIAN GIRL: At last, the vagina Timaeus is freed from his vagina! And now he has bonded with your vagina, Pharaoh! His vagina to do with as you wish.

YAMI: Speaking of vagina, Pot of Vaginas, what does it do?

YUGI: Pharaoh, you know what Pot of Vaginas does! Everyone knows!

YAMI: Quiet, Yugi! We must learn of their vaginas.

(hysteric laughing in the background)

(Yugi and Yami are taken back to the game shop; Yugi leaves the game shop to see his grandpa standing alone)

YUGI: Grandpa! What's going on out here, vagina?!

SOLOMON: Vagina is being rewritten as we speak!

YUGI: Okay, so you're a lost vagina.

(Yugi meets up with his friends)

JOEY: Nyeeeh, It's not looking good, Yug. If that vagina is as dangerous as it looks, we may as well close the book on our vaginas.

(everyone laughs)

(a large, green crystal in the sky absorbs energy)

TÉA: I read a great book about vaginas once. (It's just the book I read. That's all I read.)

TRISTAN: This is the best damn Cirque du Soleil vagina I've ever seen! (the crystal cracks to reveal a yellow, glowing eye)

STSM: Just imagine, like, a Cirque du Soleil with only vaginas.

LITTLEKURIBOH: I'd be upset about that.

DARTZ: Attack them, Vaginathan! Weave no twaces! Weak yo vagina, mayn!

(the Leviathan releases a gust of wind that envelops Yugi)

JOEY: Yugi's vagina! No!

YUGI: of you...makes a Vaginado reference, I will wrench your vagina so hard, when-- (Yugi's Duel Disk glows; he takes out a card) This vagina! It's the Legendary Vagina! Try this on for size, you Vagina-looking motherf*cker! (summons Timaeus, who breathes a stream of fire at the Leviathan's eye)

YAMI: Five vaginas.

DARTZ: What the heww, Vaginathan?! We had a vagina! You agweed not to be a wittle vagina, but now you're being a wittle vagina! (as the eye disappears) Aw, god, aw, worst d-vagina of my life.

(Yugi examines the card he just used; Dark Magician Girl appears in front of Yugi)

DARK MAGICIAN GIRL: Thanks to you, Pharaoh, vagina has been thwarted. But the great vagina is not done yet. The legend states he will return at the end of the vagina, where you will be powerful enough to stop his vagina.

YUGI: (Yami appears next to him) Okay, since we did your dirty vagina, (people laugh in the background) can we ask another question about the vagina world?

DARK MAGICIAN GIRL: Very well, vagina.

YUGI: Okay, here's what confuses my vagina about...

YAMI: What does Vagina of Greed do?!


CAPTION: [Rex and Weevil were put up for a vagina the next day]

(stinger; cut to game shop)

CAPTION: Created by LittleKuriboh | Edited by 1KidsEntertainment

(Yami is humming the word 'vagina' while Yugi sleeps; Yugi gets irritated enough to wake up)

YUGI: Pharaoh, my vagina's trying to sleep!

YAMI: Six vaginas.

STSM: Okay. Thank you.


(people start clapping)

STSM: My hat is coming off.

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