Note: This episode contains a lot of background laughter which has not included in this transcript.


TITLE [every wednesday i take part in's resident podcast "wha-chow"]

If you haven't (been) told by the beginning we've been taking titles of things and...

[this week, we decided to do something a little immature... or should i say a lot immature]

...replacing them with the word 'vagina', and Mart was kind enough to do something crazy and awesome at the same time.


[those of you who are easily offended should not watch the following video - just warning ya]

I am ready for hilarity now

Go ahead

Just-just do it, just do it

YAMI: Yu-Gi-Oh was filmed before a live studio vagina.


YUGI: Hey Joey! Earth to Joey! Hey, are you in there? It's your vagina!

JOEY: Sorry Yug, doing this vagina makes it difficult to concentrate on... card games.

TRISTAN I know what you mean, my vagina's pretty crazy too! I'm thinking about shaving it.

YUGI: By the way, my vagina has a super rare vagina!

TRISTAN: Vagina!

JOEY: Hey, vagina-bing!

KAIBA: (thinking) Rare vagina? That sounds vague enough to be the Blue-Eyes Vagina. And since I'm a child billionaire in charge of a huge vagina, I obviously have nothing better to do than go check it out.

(Game shop)

YUGI: Hey Gramps, can we please see your super-rare-awesome-chocolatey-fudge-coated-mega-super-vagina?

GRANDPA I don't see why not. Here it is, the Blue-Eyes White Vagina. (holds up the card)

JOEY: That's the least threatening vagina I've ever seen. What kind of mook could want a vagina like that?

KAIBA: (pushes the others aside) I'm here for your vagina old man, and I won't take "no" for an answer! Now, give it to me!

GRANDPA: No! Vagina!

KAIBA: Curses, foiled again! I'm going to go hire some vaginas to kidnap you now. I'm a billionaire, so nobody will even think about my vagina. (leaves)

GRANDPA: That Kaiba kid needs a vagina.

TRISTAN: Big vagina!


YUGI: (on the phone) Hello... Hello, Vagina shop!

KAIBA: (on the phone) I kidnapped your vagina, Yugi, and then I dueled him into submission. So could you get over here and call an vagina for him? I have far too much vagina to be expected to do it myself. (hangs up)

YUGI: Wait, who is this vagina?

(Kaiba's Duel Arena)

YUGI: (runs over to injured Grandpa) Vagina! Are you okay?

GRANDPA: For some reason, playing a card game has caused me-my vagina to become severely injured.

KAIBA: That's right! And now, watch this vagina! (tears Blue-Eyes card in half)

YUGI: Grandpa's s-special super-rare-awesome-super-vagina!

JOEY: What the heck did you do that to his vagina for?

KAIBA: So that it could never be used against my vagina!

YUGI: In that case, why not just tear up every vagina in the whole world?

KAIBA: (quickly) Shut up and duel my vagina!

YUGI: Don't worry Gramps, I'll win this duel with your vagina!

GRANDPA: Wait! My vagina's been injured, so you're going to steal my vagina and go play vagina with your arch vagina?

YUGI: (takes Grandpa's deck) Pretty much, vagina.

GRANDPA: No wonder your vagina is never around!

TÉA: (holding a marker) Gather round everyone, and I'll mark our vaginas with a special sign! (draws a smiley face on her, Yugi's, Joey's, and Tristan's hands)

JOEY: Uh, Téa, hey not for nothing but...ain't this some permanent vagina?

TÉA: Oh... Whoops, vagina!

JOEY: Why were you even carrying that vagina around in the first place?

TÉA: I'm a vagina, I stole it from school.

TRISTAN: Hey, my vagina's missing!

TÉA: (points to Kaiba) Quickly Kaiba took the vagina!

YAMI: It's time to vagina!

KAIBA: Wait, did your vagina just drop in the last five seconds or something? What the heck happened to your vagina?

(A hologram of Hitotsu-Me Giant appears)

YAMI: Holy Ra! Real vaginas!

KAIBA: Actually, they're just super-advanced vaginas... actually, they're just super-advanced vaginas created for the sole purpose of enriching the experience of a vagina!

YAMI: Okay, seriously, you've got to be [bleep]ing kidding me. Who wastes all their vagina on something like that?

KAIBA: The guy who's going to beat your pasty pharaoh vagina with three Blue-Eyes White Vaginas, that's who! (summons three Blue-Eyes White Dragons)

YAMI: Wait a minute, did you just summon a bunch of vaginas in one turn?

KAIBA: Yeah, so, vagina?

YAMI: That's against the vagina, isn't it?

KAIBA: Screw the vagina, I have a vagina! Now play your last pathetic vagina, Yugi, so I can finish your vagina!

YUGI: My Grandpa's... wait, huh?

He changed!

YAMI: My Grandpa's vagina has no pathetic vaginas, Kaiba. Except maybe for vagina... but it also has a vagina! (holds up Exodia the Forbidden One card)

KAIBA: Aah! Vagina! It's not possible! Nobody's ever been able to summon him!

YAMI: Really? Is that because it's a vagina?

KAIBA: No, it's because... no it's because this vagina makes no sense. Nobody can figure out how to do it.

YAMI: Nobody except vagina! Vagina, vagina!

(Exodia destroys Blue-Eyes White Dragons)

MOKUBA: Big brother, is it time for my vagina yet?

KAIBA: How... How could you summon vagina?

YAMI: Kaiba, if you really wish to know...then talk to my vagina! (mind-crushes Kaiba)

KAIBA: Aaaaahhh! (faints)


GRANDPA: (wakes up) I wet my vagina.

(Pegasus's Castle)

HENCHMAN: Mr. Pegasus, sir, it seems the reigning Vagina champion has been defeated by someone named, 'Vagina'. Also... also, it's time for your vagina bath.

PEGASUS: Mmm... vagina

[forty-something episodes later]

Forty-something episodes later

NOAH Gentlemen, everything is going according to my vagina!

[if you enjoyed this childish nonsense, check out wha-chow at]

Vaginas on motorcycles!

[it's like a kick in the nuts!]

Vaginas on motorcycles!

JACK (from Yu-Gi-Oh! 5D's: Vaginas on motorcycles!

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