#1: "Pilot" | "Rocky VII" → |
---|
Cast (in order of appearance): Yami, Yugi, Joey, Tristan, Kaiba, Téa, Grandpa, Mokuba, Pegasus
Date: July 14, 2006
Running Time: 3:55
Transcript[]
(Intro)
YAMI: Yu-Gi-Oh! was filmed before a live studio audience.
(School)
YUGI: Hey Joey! Earth to Joey! Hey, are you in there? It's your move!
JOEY: Sorry, Yug, doing this Brooklyn accent makes it difficult to concentrate on card games.
TRISTAN: I know what you mean, my voice is pretty crazy too! I'm thinking about changing it.
YUGI: By the way, my grandpa has a super rare card.
TRISTAN: Groovy!
JOEY: Hey, bada-bing!
KAIBA: (thinking) Rare card? That sounds vague enough to be the Blue-Eyes White Dragon. And since I'm a child billionaire in charge of a huge gaming company, I obviously have nothing better to do than go check it out.
(Title sequence [redux only])
(Game shop)
YUGI: Hey Gramps, can we please see your super-rare-awesome-chocolaty-fudge-coated-mega-super-card?
GRANDPA: I don't see why not. Here it is, the Blue-Eyes White Dragon. (holds up the card)
JOEY: That's the least threatening name for a monster I've ever heard. What kind of mook could want a card like that?
KAIBA: (pushes the others aside) I'm here for your Blue-Eyes, old man, and I won't take "no" for an answer! Now give it to me!
GRANDPA: No!
KAIBA: Curses, foiled again! I'm going to go hire some thugs to kidnap you now. I'm a billionaire, so nobody will even think about pressing charges. (leaves)
GRANDPA: That Kaiba kid needs to get laid.
TRISTAN: Big time!
(Later)
YUGI: (on the phone) Hello, Game shop!
KAIBA: (on the phone) I kidnapped your grandpa, Yugi, and then I dueled him into submission. So could you get over here and call an ambulance for him? I have far too much money to be expected to do it myself. (hangs up)
YUGI: Wait, who is this?
(Kaiba's Duel Arena)
YUGI: (runs over to injured Grandpa) Grandpa! Are you okay?
GRANDPA: For some reason, playing a card game has caused me to become severely injured.
KAIBA: That's right! And now, watch this! (tears Blue-Eyes card in half)
YUGI: Grandpa's special super-rare-awesome-super-card!
JOEY: What the heck did you do that for?
KAIBA: So that it could never be used against me!
YUGI: In that case, why not just tear up every card in the whole world?
KAIBA: (quickly) Shut up and duel me!
YUGI: Don't worry, Gramps, I'll win this duel with your deck!
GRANDPA: W-Wait a minute! I've been injured, so you're going to steal my deck and go play cards with your arch rival?
YUGI: (takes Grandpa's deck) Pretty much.
GRANDPA: No wonder your parents are never around!
TÉA: (holding a marker) Gather round everyone, and I'll mark us with a special sign! (draws a smiley face on her, Yugi's, Joey's, and Tristan's hands)
JOEY: Uh, Téa, hey, not for nothing but...ain't this permanent marker?
TÉA: Oh... Whoops!
JOEY: Why were you even carrying that thing around in the first place?
TÉA: I'm a kleptomaniac, I stole it from school.
TRISTAN: Hey, my wallet's missing!
TÉA: (points to Kaiba) Kaiba took it!
YAMI: It's time to duel!
KAIBA: Wait, did your testicles just drop in the last five seconds or something? What the heck happened to your voice?
(A hologram of Hitotsu-Me Giant appears in the middle of the duel field)
YAMI: Holy Ra, real monsters!
KAIBA: Actually, they're just super-advanced holograms created for the sole purpose of enriching the experience of a children's card game!
YAMI: Okay, seriously, you've got to be [bleep]ing kidding me. Who wastes all their money on something like that?
KAIBA: The guy who's going to beat your pasty pharaoh butt with three Blue-Eyes White Dragons, that's who! (summons three Blue-Eyes White Dragons)
YAMI: Wait a minute, did you just summon a bunch of monsters in one turn?
KAIBA: Yeah, so?
YAMI: That's against the rules, isn't it?
KAIBA: Screw the rules, I have money! Now draw your last pathetic card, Yugi, so I can finish you!
YAMI: My Grandpa's deck has no pathetic cards, Kaiba. Except maybe for Kuriboh... but it also has this! (holds up Exodia the Forbidden One card) The unstoppable Exodia!
KAIBA: Aah! Exodia! It's not possible! Nobody's ever been able to summon him!
YAMI: Really? Is that because it's so rare?
KAIBA: No, it's because this game makes no sense. Nobody could figure out how to do it.
YAMI: Nobody except me! Exodia, obliterate!
(Exodia destroys Blue-Eyes White Dragons)
MOKUBA: Big brother, is it time for my cameo yet?
KAIBA: How... How could you summon Exodia?
YAMI: Kaiba, if you really wish to know...then talk to the hand! (mind-crushes Kaiba)
KAIBA: Aaaaahhh! (faints)
(Hospital)
GRANDPA: (wakes up) I wet myself.
(Pegasus's Castle)
HENCHMAN: Mr. Pegasus, sir, it seems the reigning Duel Monsters champion has been defeated by someone named Yugi. Also, it's time for your sponge bath.
PEGASUS: Mmm...
(End; Redux version only: "I'm Back!" (Kaiba Theme) plays)
CAPTIONS:
[ever feel like you're
experiencing deja vu?]
[well at least I didn't make greedo shoot first]
(Stinger)
YUGI: (with Master Shake's voice) Hey hey, fun time! Goofin' off Martian style, wakka wakka!
(Post-ending: Redux version only)
YAMI: Wait a minute, did you just summon a bunch of monsters in one turn?
KAIBA: Yeah, so?
YAMI: That's against the rules, isn't it?
KAIBA: Yes it is. (giggles)
|