Cast (in order of appearance): Yugi Muto, Joey Wheeler, Mai Valentine (voiced by LittleKuriboh and BoobsMcBalrog), Ryo Bakura, Marik Isthar, Rex Raptor

Running time: 4:00

Transcript Edit

YUGI: Hey, Joey!

JOEY: Oh, hey Yug! What's going on? Is it time for us to do another one of them videos where the characters respond to YouTube comments?

YUGI: What?

JOEY: I'll go first. heavyDDR said: "I pee in..."

YUGI: (interrupts him) Joey, we haven't done that for years. Literally years.

JOEY: Butts!

YUGI: Why are you up here on the roof?

JOEY: Oh, you know Yug, when a showed character's got an existential quandary we gotta figure out, (cut to the school) climbing onto the school roof is the most efficient way to solve it!

(cut back to the main cast)

YUGI: Is it helping?

JOEY: It did, but then I started to get vertigos and now I have both an existential crisis and crippling anxiety.

YUGI: Tough break, Joey. So, what were you puzzling over that made you come up here in the first place?

JOEY: It's this new version of Mai, Yug. She got me all confused and frustrated and I don't even know what to do with myself.

YUGI: Everyone experiences this at some point in their lives, Joey. Hell, some people are still fighting over Kirk vs. Picard.

JOEY: Yeah, but I'm not attracted to Kirk or Picard, Yug.

YUGI: You're not? What the hell is wrong with you?

JOEY: Every time I compared them in my head I just end up as confused as I was before.

YUGI: Well, run me through it! What are some pros and cons of old Mai and new Mai?

JOEY: Okay. So, I love old Mai 'cos she had those big, (cut and close-up to Mai's boobs) impressive, (cut and close-up to Mai) character moments that really developed her as a person! Like she started off acting like she didn't need to depend on other people, and she was all headstrong and stubborn, but then she started to understand that friends aren't a weakness and that they can help you get through the parts of life that are too difficult to handle alone!

YUGI: Okay, and what's one of her cons?

JOEY: She's like twenty feet tall! She's like a Frankenstein, it's scary!

YUGI: I don't think you're remembering that correctly.

JOEY: No, man, check out this flashback!

(Cut to Mai, Bakura, Téa, and Yugi)

MAI: Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell the blood of an Englishman!

BAKURA: My blood? Bloody hell!

(cut back to the main cast)

YUGI: Were you having a flashback? Because all you did was stare at me for like five seconds.

JOEY: What, we can't see each other's flashbacks now?

YUGI: I don't recall ever being able...

JOEY: (interrupts him) Everything's changing and it's got me all messed up inside!

YUGI: Okay, so, how about the new Mai? What are some cons?

JOEY: Well, she's got that enormous, (cut and close-up to Mai's butt) gigantic, (cut and close-up to Mai's butt) wall between her and everyone else now! It's like she spent a whole season and a half figuring out how to open herself up to people, and now, thanks to some evil cult that worships a bunch of rocks, she's gone right back to the start again!

YUGI: It's almost like season 4 was written by people who didn't understand character arcs, and they were just throwing a bunch of drama together for the sake of drama!

JOEY: Yeh, next thing you know they'll be separating you and the Pharaoh!

YUGI: Oh come on, nobody's that dumb! Sure, let's just make Captain America a Hydra agent while we're at it!

JOEY: That guy's from Brooklyn. We don't do stupid stuff like that.

YUGI: Okay, so what are some positives about new Mai?

JOEY: Well, evil is sexy...

MARIK: (shows himself from behind the wall, interrupting him) ...and sexy is evil! (returns back behind the wall)

JOEY: And she's very, very evil right now!

(Cut to Mai's and Joey's Duel)

MAI: Satan, because I'm worth it.

(cut back to the main cast)

JOEY: Plus, she's wearing all that leather!

YUGI: Yes, I also appreciate it when a girl wears the skin of dead animals. Huge turn-on!

JOEY: Yeah, then there's the old Mai who was freaking hilarious!

(cut to Mai in various spots during the Duelist Kingdom tournament)

MAI: Breast joke! Breast joke! Joke about my breasts!

REX: Uhuhuhuhuh, she said breasts.

(cut back to the main cast)

JOEY: But on the downside, she lived in a tiny shower cubicle in the middle of the woods!

(cut to Mai watching outside from the shower cubicle in Duelist Kingdom)

MAI: The rent is cheap. Don't judge me.

(cut back to the main cast)

JOEY: And then there's new Mai who isn't funny the way she used to be.

(cut to Mai's and Joey's duel)

JOEY: Hey, you gonna talk about your boobies?

MAI: No. You gonna talk about your dick?

JOEY: Probably?

(cut back to the main cast)

JOEY: But on the plus side, have you seen her Harpie Ladies? (Cuts to Mai's and Joey's Duel; Mai's eyes, The Seal of Orichalcos and multiple Harpie Ladies are visible from the scene) (voice-over) 'Cos they are definitely on the plus side!

(cut back to the main cast)

YUGI: Well, I'd like to think the important lesson here is that people change, and we sometimes don't always like who they change into, the same way we used to. But if they stay true to themselves then all we can do as their friend is to try and support them. We can't expect the ones we love to be static, to never evolve. We have to be there for their mistakes, just as much as we're there for their successes. And only through knowing every version of Mai will you know who she is completely.

JOEY: Nope, wait, I figured it out. New Mai's boobs look way nicer in that outfit. New Mai, that's who I like. I'm all about new Mai!

YUGI: You're a very shallow person, Joey.

JOEY: Thanks, Yug! Now how the hell do we get down?

MARIK: (shows himself from behind the wall) First you have to get funky! (retreats behind the wall and then shows himself again) Hi.

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